The Bomb in My Fridge

When I'm hott, I'm HOOOTTT. Well, not really...but I've gotten into the worst habit of bloggin' a bunch at one time instead of spreadin' the love out during each month.

Let me tell you all about my recent thoughts on "EXPIRATION DATES"

So, as I was casually sipping my pristine clean, sublimely refreshing beverage (often referred to as water) from a plastic bottle, I realized something I had never noticed before---AN EXPIRATION DATE. Now, I know I'm not the fountain of all knowledge (more like a water filled pot hole that you would find in the Dollar Store parking lot) but honestly...it blew my mind...why exactly does my bottle of water NEED an expiration date?

On the other hand, I have a ticking time bomb currently in my fridge. I bought a half gallon of milk right before Thanksgiving break so I could still enjoy my Cinnamon Toast Crunch (or at least the off brand of that stellar cereal that comes in the big bag instead of a colorfully decorated box which often includes a toy of some sort because as I've mentioned before I'm cheap like that). Yesterday, as I went to eat a bowl of that cinnamony complete and utter goodness, I abruptly stood petrified as I took note that the milk's death date. Yes, there is indeed no such thing as a jug of milk's "expiration date," but there is an anticipated "death date" when the cow juice abruptly turns unsalvageable and horribly stinky (which in my book qualifies as a death date because it is far worse a scenario than when other normal foods expire).

Anyway, I was suddenly forced with a sticky (or possibly stinky or chunky which would make me pukey) delimma as to whether I would whiff the milk in hopes that is was still consumable. Craving those cinnamon and sugar swirls, I sucked it up and did. Fortunately, all was swell and I was able to use it....but today is DECEMBER 2nd!!! Is my milk okay still? I'm afraid....very afraid...which brings me to my point. There should be at least SEVERAL dates on each jug of milk:

1st: The date that specifies up until when your milk is 100% garunteed to be fresh and yummy
2nd: The date that specifies up until when your milk is most likely still in superb condition
3rd: The sketchy date that specifies when the milk is probably on the verge of going bad
4th: The anticipated death date (this is the one currently on our jugs today but is completely insufficient as we know it)
5th: The past the point of no return date which specifies when you should plug your nose and discard immediately

Am I right, or am I RIGHT? That's what I thought :)