The Many Stages of Boredom

Five minutes ago I was reminded of a gray area some of us cross into more often than others. I like to term it "the many stages of boredom. " This fact of life was brought to mind when one of my roommates took the time to formally reprimand me for not recently bloggging---seeing as my blog is apparently a sad form of her daily entertainment that she sets her heart on to take up a measly five minutes of the 24 hour day. In all honesty, I was actually quite flattered. So, three cheers. Here's to you roommie. You know who you are :)

The Key Stages in the Infinite Stages of Boredom(*Please keep in mind that these are only the highlights):

1. You got some spare time so you decided to do something productive...not necessarily necessary...but productive none-the-less
examples: read, clean, study, go to the bathroom

AND THEN IT GETS WORSE

2. After about 2 whole whopping minutes of being productive you remember that since you remember how lazy you truly are and that the reason you are bored is because all the daily activities you are actually required to do are accomplished. You now slip into bored active mode to bored passive mode.
examples: TV, you tube videos, movies

THE DOWNHILL SLIDE CONTINUES

3. You've been sitting in the same comfy position for so long that you know are experiencing pain. Sadly this is not the good sort pain that kills but instills a sense of accomplishment that results from any other endurance type of sport (yes, sitting in one position for a very long time is a form of endurance and should be considered a sport...though I have a feeling it would consist mainly of chubby people...well, maybe not even chubby....but they'd all have one thing in common: rolls....possibly broken up be the occasional stretch mark) ANYWAY, due to the uncomfortableness that has been building, though you haven't noticed it until your favorite episode of The Office ended on nbc.com, you decide you need to proceed to stage 4 of boredom. This will allow you to have some movement without removing your heiny from its imprinted spot on the couch.
examples: facebooking (well, actually you've done this intermittently for short periods of time all throughout this boredom process....but now your on to more serious stuff....like looking at pictures of friends of friends and stalking that person that sits next to you in chem class), msn instant messaging, texting chacha for no important reason

OH WAIT, THERE'S MORE

4. This is when you take a nap ranging anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours (depending on how much more time you have to kill).
examples: N/A

THE END IS NEAR

5. Now that you've done something your body has been craving since the time you woke up this morning, you realize that you have been neglecting other needs. Well, technically you probably haven't even been neglecting the part of life I'm about to mention but you will find yourself migrating to the kitchen anyway. You start munching. Lots of time passes.
examples: donuts, chips and salsa, chocolate, cereal, Pop-Tarts, the list goes on...

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T BE MORE PATHETIC 'TIL NOW

6. Several hours have passed by this time. Suddenly it hits you....and hits you hard. While those normal contributing members of society (friends, family, roommates, the mailman) have been working, or studying, or volunteering....all you have to show is a few good one-liners from old TV episodes, a big gut, and the infinite relationship status info of all your cyber pals. You stink. In fact, it is so depressing that you start pointing the blame on other for your current state of being.
Examples: wondering why no one has called to invite you to that mega awesome party all your pals are at (you say they're snotty but they know you're boring), you blame others for not creating new blogs for you to read in your spare time, need i say more?

Well, I hope you enjoyed this roommie. Love ya!