KayEmKay

Man Power

2009-02-07T09:38:00.004-07:00

A few weeks ago my poor roommate was seen in her car---absolutely positively stuck in the snow--- at FHE. Luckily, four very eager young fellows kindly "unstuck" her car in a very manly way. It was a very tough job to do, but witnesses (all females) believe the following study found in a blog is the explanation for the brute strength phenomenon. Aaron the blogger (http://aaronfairchild.blogspot.com) writes:

See the entry two posts down from this one regarding working out with hot girls around. Now this little blucrb from my January/February 2009 issue of Men's Health Magazine:

"It starts with boys showing off on the playground, and the performance never ends: When a woman is around, men work harder. In a new German study, men pushed themselves 12 percent harder and complained less about pain during a bicycle stress test when a female doctor supervised than when a man did. Study author Christian Jung, M.D., says the results could translate to your gym: "Working out with a woman may help you push harder, probably because men are evolutionarily programmed to impress woman," he says. Choose your treadmill wisely."

Now, I only thought I'd throw in Aaron the Blogger's previous post just for kicks, and then I'll get to my point.

You know what makes an otherwise grueling and painful workout much more bearable? A hot chick.

Let me explain. I don't know of anyone who enjoys the pain associated with lifting weights or working your body hard. That pain is just something you pit up with for later benefits, whether it's increased health, a good post-workout sensation, bigger muscles, flatter tummy, whatever. If you don't experience some measure of pain and discomfort while at the gym, then you're doing something wrong. So what better way to distract your mind from such pain than an attractive member of the opposite sex? This has several benefits. First, there's the mere eye candy aspect (but don't stare, you creep). Second, she serves as a distraction. Third, you might complete your sets with better form because you don't want to look like a dork. Forth, you complete all reps in your set because you don't want to look like a wimp. Fifth,it passes the time faster. I'm going to stop making a numbered list now because it's getting on my nerves. You might also decide to exercise a little longer than you normally would have, because of that person's presence.

Back in social psychology, they taught us that your performance will improve if you are being observed by others, provided that you are comfortable with the task at hand, or already proficient. (Conversely, if you are inexperienced with the particular task, or not confident in your abilities, your performance will worsen in the presence of observers.) I think this is kind of the principle at work here. Generally unpleasant experiences are made much more bearable with the presence of some positive association, whether it be a person, music, feeling, etc. This is also why sometimes I study more effectively when I'm with friends.

So in the end I don't think it's such a bad thing that gyms are "meat markets." That guy who has been following you from station to station for the past half-hour? He's not a creepy stalker. He's just using you to make his workout easer. There, don't you feel better now?

Wasn't that hilarious?! haha. Now my point...So, over the weekend I had to move some really heavy cement cinder blocks that I put under my bed to hoist it up so that I can shove copious amounts of junk underneath. I'm no weakling. In fact I'd say I have the strength of any girl my age if not ever so slightly more. However, I could definitely only lift one cinder block at a time. Two would have been darn near crazy impossible. Three would have been utterly unthinkable. However, some of my friends helped me moved these cinder blocks (thank goodness! :) ) including a guy in my ward. However, this gentlemen was able to carry THREE at a time (with what looked like relative ease)!!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? Sure, he's bigger than me, but not by THAT much!!! So, my question is "Was this extra strength due to the presence of several females at the time or are girls really that weak?!" Holy cow...I now think I'm going to have to take up martial arts or something to even the playing field :S

CHEAP!

2009-01-23T04:37:00.006-07:00

It's 4:30, in the AM. No, I did not stay up all night 'til now. No, I did not wake up from my blissful, peaceful sleep just to blog. No, I did not wake up from my gloriously, happy slumber because of some emergency. I AM AWAKE BECAUSE MY BEDROOM CEILING IS LEAKING AGAIN.... ON MEEEE!!!

The first time it leaked it was somewhat amusing if you will. I even took pictures :) Of course we were afraid that our whole ceiling was going to cave in due to the almost constant trickle of water down the heavy ceiling fan in the very center of the room....but it was still okay. Plus, it really wasn't a big deal (even if management took several LONG days to fix this issue) because we just plopped a bowl in the middle of the floor (a very BIG bowl...any smaller would have overflowed) and walked around it. The second leak...NOT SO AMUSING. How did I find it??? By waking up to the bottom third of my bed being SOAKED. Now, I promised myself when starting this blog not to get personal....BUT THIS IS PERSONAL (or at least more like a PERSONAL ASSAULT!!!)

Last year I lived in "ritzy housing." I had moved there on accident, only to discover that my whole stake consisted on a congregation full of orange-skinned, blond people. Don't get me wrong, I had fun while it lasted, but I was happy to move somewhere else after that experience. So, we went to the extreme this year for housing...and moved somewhere were rent is CHEAP. I don't recommend that at all. I'm finding out cheap=we need to repair half your apartment on a regular basis. Just FYI. Plus, the only water problems we ever had in the "ritzy" apartment was when some kid decided to pose as maintenance the evening before April Fool's Day and turn off our water heater. We had cold showers for a day, but hey,...it's not like THAT woke me up at 4:30.

Anyway, I am now about to lay my head on the couch because the very big bowl is now on top of my bed doing its thing. This is so WRONG...help :(

Just Don't Wave a Twinkie in Front of My Face, K?

2009-01-22T22:34:00.004-07:00

Tonight I did a horrible thing. I went to the grocery store and BOUGHT OUT Maceys. I knew to eat before I went so that I wasn't hungry BUT.... I don't think that helped AT ALL. When I arrived, I started in the produce section. That put me in a "healthy" mood. I now own fresh fruit, frozen fruit, liquid fruit (juice), and low calorie snacks. Then, I got in a "what if I'm not in a 'healthy' mood tomorrow and am starving for something fattening?" mood. I added Cracker Jacks, frozen pizzas, and Good & Plenty candy to the cart. That lead to other food ideas which placed the following justifications in my head:

"Hey, this is cheap!..."
"Wow, this will last me forever!..."
"Goodness me, I will really enjoy this!..."
"Interesting, I've never had this before!..."
"Hallelujah, this looks tasty!..."

Anyway, my roommates now hate me....they don't know they hate me yet...but they hate me. This hate will fill their bosoms once they open our fridge...umm....and our cabinets....umm....and probably our closet too....and they realize the lack of space (and when I mean lack...I don't mean "less" but I do mean "none")

But that's okay....I have one last justification.

"Gosh golly gee, this will make wonderful food storage!..." :)

(And, I'm helping others practice love, patience, and forgiveness....definitely worth it, right?)

Initiative.

2009-01-16T14:29:00.004-07:00

Boy met girl in his ward at church. Boy asked girl out on date on the spot. Girl was busy that night. Boy asked girl out on the next night...a school night! Girl wasn't busy. Girl said "yes." Boy and girl went out on date.

Initiative.

It's a wonderful thing.

No, this did not happen to me (just for clarification's sake).

Yes, this is just an example that miracles have not ceased.

If all boys were as manly as previously noted boy, the Happy Valley single's population would be cut down in half.

Amen.

Dear Diary

2008-12-18T12:44:00.006-07:00

Dear Diary,

I was on my way to the JFSB across from the JKB, not to be confused with the JSB where I take D & C, to meet by BFF. I was trying to convince her to change to MFHD instead of PDBIO, so she can graduate with her MRS degree instead of a PHD. But, she said she wants her PHD or maybe to become an M.D. to be a DR. Plus, if she really wanted to be an MRS, she would have gone to Rexburg at BYU-I-DO, where it's a "ring before spring or your money back."

"True that," I said, but to get through to her head, I mentioned UVSC, now UVU, or LDS BC in SLC, where unlike at BYU she would actually have time for a little R & R or TLC for her ward's hott EQP.

"True that," she said, but I stopped in my stead, 'cause I realized I had to cath the UTA because it was Monday, and gosh golly me.....it's almost FHE!

Upon arriving home, I wasn't alone. My roomie was eating ice cream while watching MTV, and I thought, "OMG!" I mean, WWJD? Something was wrong. That filthy media didn't belong. I told her, "Remember who you are! And CTR!" But, I found out she was grieving the DTR with the VL guy she had met at our ward's last Munch & Mingle were everyone's single, AKA "Meet and Greet" or "Linger Longer" or "Chat & Chew" or my personal favorite "Flirt & Feed" where a cute RM is all you need. Because, a boy ain't a man 'til he comes home from his mission. And, we don't like boys. We throw rocks at them. But, we like men. They give us rocks. Unless the dude just got home, then leave him alone, because everyone knows, as the saying goes, "Say no to pot. Say no to crack. Say no to the missionary who just got back."

Speaking of missionaries, at FHE where it was BYOS (which I forgot I confess) our Dad told us endless tales about his 2 years in Wales. He spoke like a Brit...and I wondered, "Was the accent legit?" He's been back for a year, was he being sincere?

After the stories were done, I left for a DI run. I found a Mo-Tab CD and a Princess Bride DVD. But before I was through, I ran into Sue who I met years ago at EFY who's now dating the guy that was an RA at DT (may it R.I.P.) who once tried to have a NICMO with me. It had all started, it's true, when he had asked me, "Is your name Virtue?" I had said no and asked why. He said, "Because you've been garnishing my thoughts unceasingly" with a wink of his eye.

And that was my day. Let us give thanks and pray for the flippin' sweet Happy Valley way (of life)! :)

Acronym Glossory:

AKA: Also Known As
BFF: Best Friend Forever
BYOS: Bring Your Own Scriptures
BYU: Brigham Young University
CTR: Choose the Right
D & C: Doctrine & Covenants
DI: Deseret Industries
DT: Deseret Towers (the old dorms at BYU that were tragically torned down)
DTR: Define the Relationship
EFY: Especially for Youth
EQP: Elders Quorum President
FHE: Family Home Evening
JFSB: Joseph F. Smith Building at BYU
JKB: Jesse Knight Building at BYU
JSB: Joseph Smith Building
LDS BC: Latter-day Saint Business College
MFHD: Marriage, Family, and Home Development major at BYU
Mo-Tab: Mormon Tabernacle Choir
NICMO: Non-Commital Make Out
OMG: Oh My Goodness!
PDBIO: Physiology and Developmental Biology major at BYU
RA: Resident Assistand (the peer supervisor they have in BYU dorms)
R.I.P.: Rest in Peace
R & R: Rest & Relaxation
SLC: Salt Lake City
TLC: Tender Loving Care
UTA: Utah Transit Authority (the bus)
UVSC: Utah Valley State College
UVU: Utah Valley University (the other "university")
VL: Virgin Lips
WWJD?: What Would Jesus Do?

An Intelligent Discussion of Desserts of the Frozen Type

2008-12-13T15:33:00.006-07:00

What's the deal with Happy Valley frozen yogurt? Sure, it's not half bad....but that only means it's half good. Though, that's not my problem...I think they should be charging half the price . If real ice cream from fancy smancy ice cream shops costs around 4 bucks, why should a similar product with HALF of the calories cost 4 bucks too? You're only getting half as much!!! I think I walked out hungrier than I was before I consumed the frozen dairy treat. And really, charging half the price would almost be overcharging because we all know that frozen yogurt is just a stones throw away from a snow cone. Yet, the price of snowcones even depreciates in the winter because instead of buying crushed ice, we can literally just walk outside, scoop up some of that fluffy white stuff, and make our own for free (well...after paying a few cents for a drizzle of sugary surupy goodness...which technically you don't even have to worry about if your fortunate enough to find that extra special naturally yellow snow...pssshhh...and I bet that it even has more vitamins and minerals than frozen yogurt even with organic fruit topping!). What about Hawiaan Ice , you may ask? Well, they can charge more for that than a snow cone because of the name...it's exotic. That's saying something. It may be rediculous, but really...we do it all the time....buy things for the name that is. I mean, you could see the same red T-shrit at the Gap and buy it for 30 bucks just because it says "GAP," when you can find the exact same T-shirt at Walmart without the logo for $5. Okay, you're right....Walmart clothing quality is drastically subpar in relation to the Gap (baaad example), but work with me here. Frozen yogurt on the other hand...that doesn't even have a spiffy name. In fact, it brings to mind a crude visualization of sticking Go-Gurts in the freezer for kicks...still definitely not worth 4 bucks thank you very much.

A Touchy-Feely Matter

2008-12-13T10:43:00.005-07:00

I'm boring. Once again I'm reverting to blogging about the life of someone else (instead of moi...I know that's disappointing...but don't be too sad, k?). haha. I blame finals :)

My friend's girlfriend was telling us a very awkward dating story last night...probably one of the best ones I've heard. She was on a double date at the movies. The two girls were sitting in the middle, and there was a guy at each end. Apparently, each guy was really into makin' a move on their date that night and smoothly went to hold their date's hand. When one of the girls looked down, she noticed that the boy's were unknowingly holding each others hands. I didn't get a super good mental picture of the logistics of how this exactly happened....but who cares....it did! Haha!!! The best part is was not only were the two boys holding hands, but there was also hand CARESSING going on. They must have been using some intense femmy moisturizers or something to realize they weren't holdin' the hand of a true girl. Or, maybe they were just used to holding man hands? Let's not judge ;)

Not My Story to Tell

2008-12-10T22:33:00.004-07:00

Hey there. So, I heard a story true story today from a girlie at school that had me smiling, so I thought I'd pass on the love. She has a brother that helped deliver a baby in the hospital for his job the other day. Wanting to congratulate the mother on her new bundle of joy, the brother looked to see what the baby was named before he went in the mother's hospital room. The patient file or birth certificate or whatever he looked at read "Da-a." Puzzled with the logistics of pronunciation, he guessed the name sounded something like "Duh" or "Day uh" or "Day." I mean, what would you guess? He proceeded into the hospital room and said, "Congratulations on your daughter, Da-a!" However, the new mother quickly correctly him, filling him in that the dash wasn't silent and her daughter's name was "Duh dash uh." The baby was totally caucasion too, so it's not like she even has ethnic coolness to pull off a name like that. Poor thing. A name: one of the first blessings or cursingings you can give your poor, defenseless offspring.

The Meet Market

2008-12-03T23:55:00.003-07:00

The Meet Market. After last night, I've decided to go vegetarian. Let me clarify: I'm officially staying away from those places disguised as innocent fun, but meticulously designed to result in boy-girl social interactions geared towards dating.

I looove dancing. So, country swing dancing sounded perfect....but I was sorely deceived. I refuse to ever again get dressed up to stand in a line of females while our male counterparts gaze up and down the line looking for one of us that suits his fancy. It was really, truly like the supermarket meat department...disgusting and all. And, every one of us chicas was left wondering if we were being looked at as a sirloin steak, chuck roast, or low-grade hot dog.

The Bomb in My Fridge

2008-12-02T17:50:00.002-07:00

When I'm hott, I'm HOOOTTT. Well, not really...but I've gotten into the worst habit of bloggin' a bunch at one time instead of spreadin' the love out during each month.

Let me tell you all about my recent thoughts on "EXPIRATION DATES"

So, as I was casually sipping my pristine clean, sublimely refreshing beverage (often referred to as water) from a plastic bottle, I realized something I had never noticed before---AN EXPIRATION DATE. Now, I know I'm not the fountain of all knowledge (more like a water filled pot hole that you would find in the Dollar Store parking lot) but honestly...it blew my mind...why exactly does my bottle of water NEED an expiration date?

On the other hand, I have a ticking time bomb currently in my fridge. I bought a half gallon of milk right before Thanksgiving break so I could still enjoy my Cinnamon Toast Crunch (or at least the off brand of that stellar cereal that comes in the big bag instead of a colorfully decorated box which often includes a toy of some sort because as I've mentioned before I'm cheap like that). Yesterday, as I went to eat a bowl of that cinnamony complete and utter goodness, I abruptly stood petrified as I took note that the milk's death date. Yes, there is indeed no such thing as a jug of milk's "expiration date," but there is an anticipated "death date" when the cow juice abruptly turns unsalvageable and horribly stinky (which in my book qualifies as a death date because it is far worse a scenario than when other normal foods expire).

Anyway, I was suddenly forced with a sticky (or possibly stinky or chunky which would make me pukey) delimma as to whether I would whiff the milk in hopes that is was still consumable. Craving those cinnamon and sugar swirls, I sucked it up and did. Fortunately, all was swell and I was able to use it....but today is DECEMBER 2nd!!! Is my milk okay still? I'm afraid....very afraid...which brings me to my point. There should be at least SEVERAL dates on each jug of milk:

1st: The date that specifies up until when your milk is 100% garunteed to be fresh and yummy
2nd: The date that specifies up until when your milk is most likely still in superb condition
3rd: The sketchy date that specifies when the milk is probably on the verge of going bad
4th: The anticipated death date (this is the one currently on our jugs today but is completely insufficient as we know it)
5th: The past the point of no return date which specifies when you should plug your nose and discard immediately

Am I right, or am I RIGHT? That's what I thought :)

H---E---Double Hockey Sticks

2008-12-02T16:30:00.003-07:00

Heaven forbid....If I wake up one day and find myself dead....and there is NOT a Krispy Kreme store in sight....I KNOW I will have ended up in hell. There are just some things in the world that are so heavenly that if for some reason they weren't included in the world to come, I think it would be a pretty good indication that I had arrived in that infamously miserable place where the weather is always uncomfortably warm (eh em...more like SCORCHING).

Other things not included in H---E---Double Hockey Sticks:

1. Chocolate cake
2. Puppies
3. Tweezers

Never Again

2008-11-15T23:45:00.004-07:00

I JUST RAN A RED LIGHT!!!! I've NEVER done that before!!! I never ever never ever ever never ever want to do that again! EVER! I mean it! Seriously, I MEAN IT!!!! It involved honking and speeding and sheer embarrassment. It wasn't a full blown run a red light sort of a deal, it was more of a be retarded and casually (yet with much momentum) right turn through one. If I was given the brains of a blond (no offense), why couldn't a be given at least the decency of the pretty golden locks?! Uggg...is this fair?! I submit that it is not.

Can I just officially dub myself a "woman driver"? Now, this may sound sexist...probably because it is...but I'm okay with that. I'm not a "bad" driver because I've never gotten in an accident, been pulled over, or harmed anything while operating an automobile (unless you count the vast many speckles and splats that collected on my windshield driving from home to school....but that's besides the point)....in fact I'd go so far as to say I'm a fairly "good" driver. If you're about to argue that one, "good" and "bad" are comparative terms and let's face it do I really need to write a blog about the UTAH DRIVERS in our midst to prove my point of what "bad" driving is? That's what I thought. ANYWAY... I'm not an elderly type of driver because I can see and don't drive unusually slowly. I'm not a teen driver 'cause I know what I'm doing and am well acquainted with the laws. I'm not a drunk driverSo, yes, I'm a "woman driver."

WOMAN DRIVER (noun): a person who often gets directions and locations mixed up who is well acquainted with stopping at gas stations and 7-11's for added directional assistance who may seem timid in certain driving circumstances but who is generally a good driver....most of the time :) aka me

Anyway, looking back on the horrific experience (now almost a whole half hour later....it's amazing how hindsight is always 20/2o, huh?), I'm a little disappointed. I was unintentionally being reckless and livin' on the edge while being bold and daring at the same time....for goodness sake....I even broke the law!!!....but I just got a sick feeling in the pit of my tummy...but no thrill or chill of the impending danger. Isn't that why people sky dive, bungee jump, and rob banks? Huh...aww well.

How Do You Pick Your Fast Food?

2008-10-28T16:49:00.004-07:00

How do you pick your fast food? I'll tell you how I pick mine.

1. Decide what you're cravin' (cravin=Taco Bell)
2. Head to Taco Bell
3. Pull up to the drive-thru and look at the menu (menu= value menu ONLY)
4. Get so absorbed in that bountiful menu of value that you slowly creep by the speaker box thing
5. Panic once you realize you cannot go forwards or backwards since it's 11:30 Saturday night and everyone in Utah is trying to get greasy food before 12am strikes, signaling the beginning of the sabbath (everyone in Utah=you sandwiched between umpteen cars)
6. Provide some local entertainment (entertainment= speeding past the drive-thru window leaving the poor Taco Bell youth sticking his head out the window gawking at your taillights)
7. This is the time that full embarrassment sinks in.
8. Raise your eyes to the beautiful, glowing arches across the street, beckoning you away from their competition
9. You go
10. You order
11. You pay
12. You're outta there

And that's how I pick my fast food. True story.

Dreaming of Obama

2008-10-28T16:32:00.003-07:00

I NEVER DREAM. And, don't give me that, "Of course you dream, darlin'. Everyone does. YOU just don't remember them." Really, I don't. By the time I finally lay my head on that pillow...WHAM...I'm out cold for the next 7 hours (if I go to bed on time) without enough energy to dream. Until two days ago....

I dreamed of HIM. I could think of plenty of people I'd rather dream of on such a momentous occasion as this. But no....good ol' Barack crept his way out of the headlines and into MY head. Now, I really don't have much against the dude...but really...who wants to dream about him? Not me. No thank you. And no, it actually wasn't a nightmare. Sorry to disappoint.

I was at some kind of expo where I was working with Mr. Obama at his booth. I actually got to have some real conversation with him, but surprisingly we didn't discuss politics (but then again, it was my dream so perhaps I did really have some control over the situation). I don't remember what we talked about, but I do remember thinking the following:

1. He does look better in real life
2. He's much nicer and less obnoxious than the impression I got from the TV...sincere, kind, down-to-earth
3. He was dangerously charismatic to the point I still didn't completely trust the fella

Did this "vision" sway my vote you may wonder? Heck no. I remember leaving the expo thinking to myself, "That was a pleasant experience. What a good man. Too bad I STILL don't like his platform. Go McCain!" :P

*No offense to Obama voters :)

Smile :)

2008-10-25T10:05:00.008-07:00

Hey there :) I recently stumbled upon the following. I think you'll like it very much :) :) :) (Courtesy of http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/)

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
Kids are asked questions about marriage...and, OH! how they answered!!

How do you decide who to marry?

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10

What is the right age to get married?

"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10
"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." Freddie, age 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8

What do you think your Mom and Dad have in common?

"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." Lynnette, age 8
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9

When is it OK to kiss someone?

"When they're rich." Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7
"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do". Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." Anita, age 9
"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper changing." Kirsten, age 10

How would the world be different if people didn't get married?

"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" Kelvin, age 8
"You can be sure of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." Roberta, age 7

How would you make a marriage work?

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10

And here's some other pretty good stuff I must say...

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."

The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked.
"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

My Life is Awkward

2008-10-23T20:59:00.009-07:00

My life is just so awkward. Awkwardness is just a talent that I can't get rid of. It follows me around like a lost 'lil puppy dog lookin' for a home or something. It especially rears it's ugly head (or cute, adorable face in the metaphor of the helpless hound) in my dating life...or lack there off....but I feel like it's a glass half full kind of day, so I'll go with "dating life" instead of the more realistic "lack thereof". ANYWAY, I scored THREE this weekend....dates that is. Actually, "scored" isn't really the right word either if I'm going to be completely honest. It's more like three boys actually had enough pity to attempt to find pleasure in my company all in the same weekend. That never happens. This is a KayEmKay first....and most definitely a last...so why not relish this in a blog, eh? Just kidding...but seriously....NEVER HAPPENS. I promise you that.

So, Friday night actually went without I hitch that I was aware of. This is surprising 'cause it was a true-blue-through-and-through blind date. Never had met the chap until he rang my doorbell. So...since it didn't really have a smidge of awkwardness, let's fast forward to Saturday night....

Saturday night. We're in his basement on a group date playin' Apples to Apples on the floor. All is going well so far. All of the sudden my bum is enveloped in this tingly, cold sensation. At first I think the good ol' rump has just fallen asleep, but I'm surprised 'cause it felt weird and came on so sudden. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Somehow someone had jostled the loose carpet and knocked over my glass full of ice cold water. It's all over the floor and soakin' my jeans. He doesn't bother much to get towel to sop up the water on the carpet since it's the unfinished basement. I'm too embarrassed to ask for something to wipe up my drippin' jeans that just happens to be soaked in the heiny region. Can I say there is nothing more uncomfortable in this world than soggy underwear. TMI? One word: deal :). A minute later we move to his leather (or maybe it was pleather? Or is that just a tacky and impractical material that was used for a popular style of girls pants flaunted in the '90s?) couch to watch a movie. I sit down. This is soon followed by the realization that I won't be able get up without shame and embarrassment. If I get up he's going to see water residue on the couch and think I peed my pants. If I get up and specifically tell him that I didn't pee my pants, he's going to think I'm covering for actually peeing my pants. It's a lose/lose situation. And even if somehow I manage to hide all this and get in the car for him to drive me home, he's going to think I peed my pants in his car when I get out to walk to my door. Folks, this is not good. AWKWARD....yes...very AWKWARD.

Fast forwarding to Sunday evening....So the date actually went well. So, I should have gone home then 'cause it's the "after date" that became the problem....or not really the problem 'cause it was fun...but more the catalyse that sparked an awkward moment. All the sudden (Let's call him Bob for sake of confidentiality) I loudly exclaimed, "BOB! HAVE YOU REALIZED WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE YET???!!!" Who says that to people?! Apparently, I do. Sigh. All his roommates suddenly stopped what they were doing and stared with jaws dropped and eyes wide. No one was breathing. Finally, Bob just started to laugh. Thank you Bob. Really, thank you. That was the kindest thing you could have done. But let me clarify, what I said (once again) was not what I meant. I said that exclamation with the intent of finding out if Bob was extremely passionate about a career path or not so that I could start to try to persuade him (in a semi-joking way) to take up my field of study ('cause I love it so much and want at least one convert before I graduate) if he wasn't madly passionate about some future job. However, obviously that is not how it came out in the end.....and I don't think anyone owns a shovel big enough to have dug me out of THAT hole.

Anyway, tomorrow the weekend begins. Even though I certainly won't have three dates to deal with, I'm mentally bracing myself for that wandering puppy.

Less of a Woman

2008-10-23T20:05:00.006-07:00

I DON'T understand! So...I used to be a tomboy back in the day and I guess some of those tendencies just never leave, even after being dormant for years upon years. But there are several things I just don't understand.....comprehend....or slightly fathom. For example:

SALADS. What is up with salads? I have so many girlfriends that think they are like the bomb-biggidy off-the-heezy-fo-cheezy-fo sho straightup most stellar food on the planet. Point in case: I went to Zupas (a specialty soup, salad, sandwich place that always serves a chocolate dipped strawberry with every order) with some chickas from school for lunch. I normally order something "hardy" 'cause that's the way I roll but decided to take the very enthusiastic suggestion of the Nuts for Berries salad. I ordered the half size 'cause....quite frankly....I'm cheap. You know what? It was absolutely bliss. It consisted of romaine lettuce with a sweet vinaigrette topped with fresh mixed berries and a tantalizing, (wow, that's a good word. haha) crunchy cinnamon & sugar roasted almonds medley. Dessert in a salad was really what it was. I highly recommend it....for dessert though...or a side.....not a main course if you are a real person that actually eats. After we ate, (most of these ladies had ordered a half salad and soup or a sandwich and soup) all the girls were saying, "Dang, I am so overly full. I normally just order that half salad and it's the perfect amount." So...me being the only half salad person at the table was then socially obligated to say, "Yeah...good thing I ordered this. I'm pleasantly full." What was I really thinking? Let's see...it went something like " ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME? I'M STARVING!!! I'M USED TO THE SALAD BEING THE ENTICING PROMISE THAT A STEAK IS ON THE WAY. THIS IS RABBIT FOOD. NO WONDER YOU ALL ARE TWIGS. ANYONE GOT A CANDY BAR?....." Yup, those were my thoughts at that moment in time, but you would have never known it until I actually did buy that candy bar (an Almond Joy to be exact) a half an hour later. hehe. Seriously though, this is not meant to be a blog critical of salad eaters. I like salad too. It's just normally on the side of my plate...not in the center of it. And, I really don't eat more than most girls....just what I eat has something to it... if ya know what I mean. So yeah...all love and no hate. I'm just in "awww" of what others can survive off of for extended periods of time.

You want me to WHAT?!

2008-10-23T19:38:00.007-07:00

I just realized my temporary job ends this week, so I've started the painstaking hunt for new employment. So far, the ad that's made me laugh the most is:

Sell 'No Soliciting' Stickers - - Door To Door

Yup. For serious. This is indeed real. Really. Truly. Believe. Ya know ya want to. For your further enjoyment here's the description...see I told ya it's legit:

This is for anyone that would like to make some extra cash in their free time like after class or work or whatever. I have tons of 'No Soliciting' stickers that I sell door to door for $5 a piece and I do pretty well. Im basically offering students or whoever some stickers that they can go sell in their own to make some extra money. You don't have to buy the stickers or anything ill just give them to you but I require $1.50 from every sale you make. So you will get $3.50 every sticker you sell. Just so you know it's really easy and you will sell a lot even if you're not very good. I sold 16 in 2 hours one day.

Let me know if you would like to give it a try and see how much you can make. you can just start with a small amount like 20 stickers if you want.

Call me please if you're interested. Devin 801-995-0877

It's on the wonderful world of Craigslist. Cheers to the unemployed! :)

Sparkly Boys

2008-10-15T20:43:00.003-07:00

Can I just dedicate a blog to "sparkly boys" aka boys that sparkle? :) Yes...I'm going to act like I'm 13 years old once again for an entire blog....but I just can't help myself :). I am just so grateful for sparkly boys. They make me happy :) Sadly, there are quite a few out there in this big world, but I think there could be even more if they'd just realize their amazing potential. So what exactly is a sparkly boy?

Sparkly boys:

1. are nice people to everyone and uplifting to be around
2. aren't afraid to be happy about life and smile...though yes...excessive smiling can be weird and that's not what I mean
3. actually go to church activities
4. are going somewhere in life. they're either are workin' hard in school or work.
5. never make you uncomfortable. they respect you
6. are careful of the movies and TV shows they watch
7. keep themselves in holy places
8. honor their priesthood
9. are good home teachers
10. are basically those all-around good guys that just seem to glow :)

Keep on sparkling :) PS---white shirts and ties and suits=HOTTTT!....okay.....I'll go back to my regular 20 year old self now......

The Verbal Filter

2008-10-14T18:06:00.002-07:00

Is what you say in your head often the rough draft version of the final copy you utter into actual words? Well, I'd like to say what I normally think is actually suitable for real-life conversation...but let's face it...we all use a verbal filter every now and then to make things sound PC, polite, or more understandable. Unfortunately, I recently discovered my verbal filter goes to bed as soon as I'm tired. This is not good. Not good at all.

For example, last night we had a stellar ward talent show for FHE. I was so excited to be there....honestly....truly....sincerely :). However, when our bright and cheery MC happily announced that a whopping 15 acts were taking part in the show as it got started, I accidentally blurted out, "It's a good thing I brought my book!" to my roommate. Though, it was one of those types of blurts where as soon as you get the words out you realize it was probably audible to all those surrounding you.....and the worst part is it wasn't even what you really meant....just came out wrong, ya know? Anyway, I was exhausted, so sadly the filter was definitely involuntarily turned off.

Moral of the story: If you really want to know if you look fat in them jeans, ask me when my eyelids are droopy ;)

Dynamite Article :)

2008-10-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

So, the following article was written in regards to Prop 8 that I found on www.lds.org. While it was under the commentary section it still cited many scripture references, statistics, and quotations that I found very helpful. Plus, I feel this article closely expressed my feelings but said them better than I am able. Thanks for reading :)

SALT LAKE CITY 13 August 2008

Introduction

The California Supreme Court recently ruled that same-sex marriage was legal in California. Recognizing the importance of marriage to society, the Church accepted an invitation to participate in ProtectMarriage, a coalition of churches, organizations, and individuals sponsoring a November ballot measure, Proposition 8, that would amend the California state constitution to ensure that only a marriage between a man and a woman would be legally recognized. (Information about the coalition can be found at http://www.protectmarriage.com/).

On June 20, 2008, the First Presidency of the Church distributed a letter about “Preserving Traditional Marriage and Strengthening Families,” announcing the Church’s participation with the coalition. The letter, which was read in Latter-day Saints’ church services in California, asked that Church members “do all [they] can to support the proposed constitutional amendment.”

Members of the Church in Arizona and Florida will also be voting on constitutional amendments regarding marriage in their states, where coalitions similar to California’s are now being formed.

The focus of the Church’s involvement is specifically same-sex marriage and its consequences. The Church does not object to rights (already established in California) regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the family or the constitutional rights of churches and their adherents to administer and practice their religion free from government interference.

The Church has a single, undeviating standard of sexual morality: intimate relations are proper only between a husband and a wife united in the bonds of matrimony.

The Church’s opposition to same-sex marriage neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility towards homosexual men and women. Protecting marriage between a man and a woman does not affect Church members’ Christian obligations of love, kindness and humanity toward all people.

As Church members decide their own appropriate level of involvement in protecting marriage between a man and a woman, they should approach this issue with respect for others, understanding, honesty, and civility.

Intending to reduce misunderstanding and ill will, the Church has produced the following document, “The Divine Institution of Marriage,” and provided the accompanying links to other materials, to explain its reasons for defending marriage between a man and a woman as an issue of moral imperative.

The Divine Institution of Marriage

Marriage is sacred, ordained of God from before the foundation of the world. After creating Adam and Eve, the Lord God pronounced them husband and wife, of which Adam said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” ^[1] Jesus Christ cited Adam’s declaration when he affirmed the divine origins of the marriage covenant: “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.” ^[2]

In 1995, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” declared the following unchanging truths regarding marriage:

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children . . . The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.

The Proclamation also teaches, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” The account in Genesis of Adam and Eve being created and placed on earth emphasizes the creation of two distinct genders: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” ^[3]

Marriage between a man and a woman is central to the plan of salvation. The sacred nature of marriage is closely linked to the power of procreation. Only a man and a woman together have the natural biological capacity to conceive children. This power of procreation – to create life and bring God’s spirit children into the world – is sacred and precious. Misuse of this power undermines the institution of the family and thereby weakens the social fabric. ^[4] Strong families serve as the fundamental institution for transmitting to future generations the moral strengths, traditions, and values that sustain civilization. As the Universal Declaration of Human Rights affirms, “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society.” ^[5]

Marriage is not primarily a contract between individuals to ratify their affections and provide for mutual obligations. Rather, marriage and family are vital instruments for rearing children and teaching them to become responsible adults. While governments did not invent marriage, throughout the ages governments of all types have recognized and affirmed marriage as an essential institution in preserving social stability and perpetuating life itself. Hence, regardless of whether marriages were performed as a religious rite or a civil ceremony, married couples in almost every culture have been granted special benefits aimed primarily at sustaining their relationship and promoting the environment in which children are reared. A husband and a wife do not receive these benefits to elevate them above any other two people who may share a residence or social tie, but rather in order to preserve, protect, and defend the all-important institutions of marriage and family.

It is true that some couples who marry will not have children, either by choice or because of infertility, but the special status of marriage is nonetheless closely linked to the inherent powers and responsibilities of procreation, and to the inherent differences between the genders. Co-habitation under any guise or title is not a sufficient reason for defining new forms of marriage.

High rates of divorce and out-of-wedlock births have resulted in an exceptionally large number of single parents in American society. Many of these single parents have raised exemplary children; nevertheless, extensive studies have shown that in general a husband and wife united in a loving, committed marriage provide the optimal environment for children to be protected, nurtured, and raised. ^[6] This is not only because of the substantial personal resources that two parents can bring to bear on raising a child, but because of the differing strengths that a father and a mother, by virtue of their gender, bring to the task. As the prominent sociologist David Popenoe has said:

The burden of social science evidence supports the idea that gender differentiated parenting is important for human development and that the contribution of fathers to childrearing is unique and irreplaceable. ^[7]

Popenoe explained that:

. . . The complementarity of male and female parenting styles is striking and of enormous importance to a child’s overall development. It is sometimes said that fathers express more concern for the child’s longer-term development, while mothers focus on the child’s immediate well-being (which, of course, in its own way has everything to do with a child’s long-term well-being). What is clear is that children have dual needs that must be met: one for independence and the other for relatedness, one for challenge and the other for support. ^[8]

Social historian David Blankenhorn makes a similar argument in his book Fatherless America. ^[9] In an ideal society, every child would be raised by both a father and a mother.

Challenges to Marriage and Family

Our modern era has seen traditional marriage and family – defined as a husband and wife with children in an intact marriage – come increasingly under assault. Sexual morality has declined and infidelity has increased. Since 1960, the proportion of children born out of wedlock has soared from 5.3 percent to 38.5 percent (2006). ^[10] Divorce has become much more common and accepted, with the United States having one of the highest divorce rates in the world. Since 1973, abortion has taken the lives of over 45 million innocents. ^[11] At the same time, entertainment standards continue to plummet, and pornography has become a scourge afflicting and addicting many victims. Gender differences increasingly are dismissed as trivial, irrelevant, or transient, thus undermining God’s purpose in creating both men and women.

In recent years in the United States and other countries, a movement has emerged to promote same-sex marriage as an inherent or constitutional right. This is not a small step, but a radical change: instead of society tolerating or accepting private, consensual sexual behavior between adults, advocates of same-sex marriage seek its official endorsement and recognition.

Court decisions in Massachusetts (2004) and California (2008) have allowed same-sex marriages. This trend constitutes a serious threat to marriage and family. The institution of marriage will be weakened, resulting in negative consequences for both adults and children.

In November 2008, California voters will decide whether to amend their state constitution to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has joined in a broad coalition of other denominations, organizations, and individuals to encourage voter approval of this amendment.

The people of the United States – acting either directly or through their elected representatives – have recognized the crucial role that traditional marriage has played and must continue to play in American society if children and families are to be protected and moral values propagated.

Forty-four states have passed legislation making clear that marriage is between a man and a woman. More than half of those states, twenty-seven in all, have done so by constitutional amendments like the ones pending in California, Arizona, and Florida. ^[12]

In contrast, those who would impose same-sex marriage on American society have chosen a different course. Advocates have taken their case to the state courts, asking judges to remake the institution of marriage that society has accepted and depended upon for millennia. Yet, even in this context, a broad majority of courts – six out of eight state supreme courts – have upheld traditional marriage laws. Only two, Massachusetts and now California, have gone in the other direction, and then, only by the slimmest of margins – 4 to 3 in both cases.

In sum, there is very strong agreement across America on what marriage is. As the people of California themselves recognized when they voted on this issue just eight years ago, traditional marriage is essential to society as a whole, and especially to its children. Because this question strikes at the very heart of the family, because it is one of the great moral issues of our time, and because it has the potential for great impact upon the family, the Church is speaking out on this issue, and asking members to get involved.

Tolerance, Same-Sex Marriage and Religious Freedom

Those who favor homosexual marriage contend that “tolerance” demands that they be given the same right to marry as heterosexual couples. But this appeal for “tolerance” advocates a very different meaning and outcome than that word has meant throughout most of American history and a different meaning than is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Savior taught a much higher concept, that of love. “Love thy neighbor,” He admonished. ^[13] Jesus loved the sinner even while decrying the sin, as evidenced in the case of the woman taken in adultery: treating her kindly, but exhorting her to “sin no more.” ^[14] Tolerance as a gospel principle means love and forgiveness of one another, not “tolerating” transgression.

In today’s secular world, the idea of tolerance has come to mean something entirely different. Instead of love, it has come to mean condone – acceptance of wrongful behavior as the price of friendship. Jesus taught that we love and care for one another without condoning transgression. But today’s politically palatable definition insists that unless one accepts the sin he does not tolerate the sinner.

As Elder Dallin H. Oaks has explained,

Tolerance obviously requires a non-contentious manner of relating toward one another’s differences. But tolerance does not require abandoning one’s standards or one’s opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination. ^[15]

The Church does not condone abusive treatment of others and encourages its members to treat all people with respect. However, speaking out against practices with which the Church disagrees on moral grounds – including same-sex marriage – does not constitute abuse or the frequently misused term “hate speech.” We can express genuine love and friendship for the homosexual family member or friend without accepting the practice of homosexuality or any re-definition of marriage.

Legalizing same-sex marriage will affect a wide spectrum of government activities and policies. Once a state government declares that same-sex unions are a civil right, those governments almost certainly will enforce a wide variety of other policies intended to ensure that there is no discrimination against same-sex couples. This may well place “church and state on a collision course.” ^[16]

The prospect of same-sex marriage has already spawned legal collisions with the rights of free speech and of action based on religious beliefs. For example, advocates and government officials in certain states already are challenging the long-held right of religious adoption agencies to follow their religious beliefs and only place children in homes with both a mother and a father. As a result, Catholic Charities in Boston has stopped offering adoption services.

Other advocates of same-sex marriage are suggesting that tax exemptions and benefits be withdrawn from any religious organization that does not embrace same-sex unions. ^[17] Public accommodation laws are already being used as leverage in an attempt to force religious organizations to allow marriage celebrations or receptions in religious facilities that are otherwise open to the public. Accrediting organizations in some instances are asserting pressure on religious schools and universities to provide married housing for same-sex couples. Student religious organizations are being told by some universities that they may lose their campus recognition and benefits if they exclude same-sex couples from club membership. ^[18]

Many of these examples have already become the legal reality in several nations of the European Union, and the European Parliament has recommended that laws guaranteeing and protecting the rights of same-sex couples be made uniform across the EU. ^[19] Thus, if same-sex marriage becomes a recognized civil right, there will be substantial conflicts with religious freedom. And in some important areas, religious freedom may be diminished.

How Would Same-Sex Marriage Affect Society?

Possible restrictions on religious freedom are not the only societal implications of legalizing same-sex marriage. Perhaps the most common argument that proponents of same-sex marriage make is that it is essentially harmless and will not affect the institution of traditional heterosexual marriage in any way. “It won’t affect you, so why should you care?’ is the common refrain. While it may be true that allowing single-sex unions will not immediately and directly affect all existing marriages, the real question is how it will affect society as a whole over time, including the rising generation and future generations. The experience of the few European countries that already have legalized same-sex marriage suggests that any dilution of the traditional definition of marriage will further erode the already weakened stability of marriages and family generally. Adopting same-sex marriage compromises the traditional concept of marriage, with harmful consequences for society.

Aside from the very serious consequence of undermining and diluting the sacred nature of marriage between a man and a woman, there are many practical implications in the sphere of public policy that will be of deep concern to parents and society as a whole. These are critical to understanding the seriousness of the overall issue of same-sex marriage.

When a man and a woman marry with the intention of forming a new family, their success in that endeavor depends on their willingness to renounce the single-minded pursuit of self-fulfillment and to sacrifice their time and means to the nurturing and rearing of their children. Marriage is fundamentally an unselfish act: legally protected because only a male and female together can create new life, and because the rearing of children requires a life-long commitment, which marriage is intended to provide. Societal recognition of same-sex marriage cannot be justified simply on the grounds that it provides self-fulfillment to its partners, for it is not the purpose of government to provide legal protection to every possible way in which individuals may pursue fulfillment. By definition, all same-sex unions are infertile, and two individuals of the same gender, whatever their affections, can never form a marriage devoted to raising their own mutual offspring.

It is true that some same-sex couples will obtain guardianship over children –through prior heterosexual relationships, through adoption in the states where this is permitted, or by artificial insemination. Despite that, the all-important question of public policy must be: what environment is best for the child and for the rising generation? Traditional marriage provides a solid and well-established social identity to children. It increases the likelihood that they will be able to form a clear gender identity, with sexuality closely linked to both love and procreation. By contrast, the legalization of same-sex marriage likely will erode the social identity, gender development, and moral character of children. Is it really wise for society to pursue such a radical experiment without taking into account its long-term consequences for children?

As just one example of how children will be adversely affected, the establishment of same-sex marriage as a civil right will inevitably require mandatory changes in school curricula. When the state says that same-sex unions are equivalent to heterosexual marriages, the curriculum of public schools will have to support this claim. Beginning with elementary school, children will be taught that marriage can be defined as a relation between any two adults and that consensual sexual relations are morally neutral. Classroom instruction on sex education in secondary schools can be expected to equate homosexual intimacy with heterosexual relations. These developments will create serious clashes between the agenda of the secular school system and the right of parents to teach their children traditional standards of morality.

Finally, throughout history the family has served as an essential bulwark of individual liberty. The walls of a home provide a defense against detrimental social influences and the sometimes overreaching powers of government. In the absence of abuse or neglect, government does not have the right to intervene in the rearing and moral education of children in the home. Strong families are thus vital for political freedom. But when governments presume to redefine the nature of marriage, issuing regulations to ensure public acceptance of non-traditional unions, they have moved a step closer to intervening in the sacred sphere of domestic life. The consequences of crossing this line are many and unpredictable, but likely would include an increase in the power and reach of the state toward whatever ends it seeks to pursue.

The Sanctity of Marriage

Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of civilized society. When marriage is undermined by gender confusion and by distortions of its God-given meaning, the rising generation of children and youth will find it increasingly difficult to develop their natural identity as a man or a woman. Some will find it more difficult to engage in wholesome courtships, form stable marriages, and raise yet another generation imbued with moral strength and purpose.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has chosen to become involved, along with many other churches, organizations, and individuals, in defending the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman because it is a compelling moral issue of profound importance to our religion and to the future of our society.

The final line in the Proclamation on the Family is an admonition to the world from the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” This is the course charted by Church leaders, and it is the only course of safety for the Church and for the nation.

________________________________________________

[1] Genesis 2:24.

[2] Matthew 19:4-6.

[3] Genesis 1:27.

[4] M. Russell Ballard, “What Matters Most is What Lasts Longest,” Ensign, November 2005, p. 41.

[5] United Nations, “Universal Declaration of Human Rights,” General Assembly Resolution 217 A (III), 10 December 1948.

[6] David Blankenhorn, Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem (New York: Basic Books, 1995); Barbara Schneider, Allison Atteberry, and Ann Owens, Family Matters: Family Structure and Child Outcomes (Birmingham AL: Alabama Policy Institute: June 2005); David Popenoe, Life Without Father (New York: Martin Kessler Books, 1996); David Popenoe and Barbara Defoe Whitehead, The State of Our Unions 2007: The Social Health of Marriage in America (Piscataway, NJ (Rutgers University): The National Marriage Project, July 2007 ) pp. 21-25; and Maggie Gallagher and Joshua K. Baker, “Do Moms and Dads Matter? Evidence from the Social Sciences on Family Structure and the Best Interests of the Child,” Margins Law Journal 4:161 (2004).

[7] David Popenoe, Life Without Father (New York: The Free Press, 1996) p. 146.

[8] Ibid., p. 145. See also Spencer W. Kimball, “The Role of Righteous Women,” Ensign, November 1979, pp. 102-104.

[9] David Blankenhorn, Fatherless America, pp. 219-220.

[10] Stephanie J. Ventura and Christine A. Bachrach, “Nonmarital Childbearing in the United States, 1940-99,” National Vital Statistics Reports 48:16 (18 October 2000); and Brady E. Hamilton, Joyce A. Martin, and Stephanie J. Ventura, “Births: Preliminary Data for 2006,” National Vital Statistics Reports 56:7 (5 December 2007).

[11] Alan Guttmacher Institute, “Facts on Induced Abortion in the United States,” In Brief, July 2008.

[12] Christine Vestal, “California Gay Marriage Ruling Sparks New Debate,” stateline.org, 16 May 2008, updated 12 June 2008. Stateline.org is funded by the Pew Charitable Trusts.

[13] Matt. 19:19.

[14] John 8:11.

[15] Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Weightier Matters,” BYU Devotional speech, 9 February 1999.

[16] Maggie Gallagher, “Banned in Boston: The Coming Conflict Between Same-Sex Marriage and Religious Liberty,” The Weekly Standard, 15 May 2006.

[17] Jonathan Turley, “An Unholy Union: Same-Sex Marriage and the Use of Governmental Programs to Penalize Religious Groups with Unpopular Practices,” in Douglas Laycock, Jr., et al., eds., Same-Sex Marriage and Religious Liberty: Emerging Conflicts (Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc., 2008, forthcoming).

[18] Marc D. Stern, “Gay Marriage and the Churches, paper delivered at the Scholar’s Conference on Same-Sex Marriage and Religious Liberty, sponsored by the The Beckett Fund, 4 May 2006.

[19] “European Parliament Resolution on homophobia in Europe,” adopted 18 January 2006.

I love you, please try to love me

2008-10-11T12:45:00.001-07:00

I love you, please try to love me (and not be angry or offended). The following blogs are going to consist of matter regarding voting on Prop 8 in California to protect the divine sanctity of marriage between one man and one woman. I realize this is a sensitive issue for many people, but please consider the perspective I'm about to present. These blogs will also be more geared towards those members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the church's current stand on the issue.

The following letter was sent from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to Church leaders in California to be read to all congregations on 29 June 2008:

Preserving Traditional Marriage and Strengthening Families

In March 2000 California voters overwhelmingly approved a state law providing that “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” The California Supreme Court recently reversed this vote of the people. On November 4, 2 008, Californians will vote on a proposed amendment to the California state constitution that will now restore the March 2000 definition of marriage approved by the voters.

The Church’s teachings and position on this moral issue are unequivocal. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and the formation of families is central to the Creator’s plan for His children. Children are entitled to be born within this bond of marriage.

A broad-based coalition of churches and other organizations placed the proposed amendment on the ballot. The Church will participate with this coalition in seeking its passage. Local Church leaders will provide information about how you may become involved in this important cause.

We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.

With that said, if you are LDS, whatever your stand maybe on the issue....please keep the following in mind. Isn't it wonderful to be in Christ's church that is led by a prophet called of God who receives revelation for our day and time?! Isn't it wonderful that even if are initially unsure of new revelation that the Lord has promised us we can pray about it and find out for ourselves if it is indeed true and of God?! I love examples in the scriptures where people receive commandments from a prophet and initially don't have a testimony of them. For example, in the Book of Mormon when Lehi had a vision that Nephi was unsure of Nephi was able to pray about it and find out for himself. 1 Nephi 2:16, "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless being large in stature, and also having great desires to know of the mysteries of Go, wherefore I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers."

The Disclaimer

2008-09-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

It was recently brought to my attention that other people may be taking my blog more seriously than I do. While that is in one way very exciting, it also poses a slight predicament. I would just like everyone to know that they shouldn't take anything as the exact truth (mainly the opinion stuff) if posted on my blog because I tend to purposely exaggerate to make a post more interesting. The reason I started a blog was to mainly practice my writing skills and not to accurately keep an online journal. Sorry to disappoint. However, if I do specifically write about an experience that happened to me---it really did happen. Or, if I post a "Sabbath Blog" I really mean the stuff contained in it. The rest is free game. In conclusion, I am not a liar....I'm a "What can I write that someone will actually be willing to read?" kind of person. Peace.

Kissy Kissy, Smoochie Smoochie

2008-09-24T22:24:00.000-07:00

Here's something to chew on: What are the qualities you normally look for in someone of the opposite sex? Personality? Good looks? Money? Lots of money? Good kisser? How about a "clean" kisser? So, right now I'm going into the dental profession so I'm learning tons about teeth and such...very interesting stuff I must say. Well, I was chattin with a past dental assistant who relayed the following tidbit which I found quite intriguing. She was talking about how her dental hygienist friend who has had quite a few patients over the past years who have come in with amazing teeth, great gums, awesome breath....basically the ideal patients. However, they'd come back within the next little while riddled with oral nastiness. The drastic change was so sudden it was odd. Then the dental hygienist would ask the patient if he/she had recently entered a new relationship. The answer was always a resounding "yes." Case closed. Even though the patient had great oral hygiene habits, their new special someone's mouth was icky gross. The bacteria and mouth goobers had transferred between the lovely lovers. This story made me gag. Brush. Floss. Rinse. Repeat. PLEASE. I'm not 100% if cases like this actually happen because I haven't witnessed it first hand, but according to the what we're learning about the microbia of the mouth it sounds highly probable. Anyway, here's a few other fun facts on the related topic for your own enjoyment (or at least mine):

1. More than 500 microbial species are found in a human mouth.
2. Dental caries (cavities) is the #1 most common disease among children in the United States.
3. Plaque is the old school term for the now used term "dental biofilm"
4. If you aren't flossing, 35% of your teeth's surface is being left dirty.
5. The average adult has had 10+ cavities thus far in their life.

Sleeping In

2008-09-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

Sleeping in. I loooove it. A LOT. Sometimes I even try to stay up extra late the night before on a weekend just so that I will be too tired to accidentally wake up at a my normal time. It's a beautiful thing. What's even better is when you wake up at 7am still tired and groggy and realize you can go back to sleep. Does life get any better? Hence, I have a theory that beds and pillows are magically ten times more comfy in the early morning than they are the night before. However, it's always awkward when you stumble out of bed at 12pm, fumble to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal, and then see all of your roommates perky and bright-eyed eating sandwhiches for lunch in the kitchen. So then you guiltitly try to blend in by grabbing your own PB and J (even though you're dying for your usual bowl of cereal) as if to mask the fact that you have been out cold for the first half of the day. But then you realize how truly messed up things are when you proceed from the kitchen to the bathroom to hop in the shower. WHAM. cold water. That's what you get for being the last one up. Not only have five other people splashed around in a glorious hot and steamy goodness before you, but your perky, sandwhich eating roommies have also decided to demonstrate their early morning productiveness by switching on the dishwasher. At least by this point, the icy water has you so refreshed that it's almost as if you'd actually been awake for hours...until someone flushes the toilet. I guess that's a perk...if you want to be optimistic that is. Realistically, it actually bites and couldn't get much worse. Or so you think. After wrapping up snuggly in your towel ('cause your shivering uncontrollably since the hot water left as quick as it came) you scurry out of the bathroom to your room to change....but not before you glance down the hallway and meet eyes with your roommies cute guy firend who not only is now looking at you in a towel but is also looking at you with confusion since it's 1pm ish and you're just getting ready for the day.

So you don't have to deal with anymore inter-apartment awkward sleeping in complications, you jet outside to get on with your day. You always run into someone you know though. It's inevitable. You say "hi" and ask "what's up?" Yet, instead of returning the typical American question that's supposed to be meant as more of a friendly salutation instead of a real, sincere question, they start telling you all about the trivial stuff they did that morning. Then they ask the dreaded question, "So how was your morning?" Uggg...now comes the personal moral delimma. You have three options:
1. Lie through your pearly white teeth: You don't want to sound as pathetic as you really are so you say. Oh, it was good, I ...insert something generic here, like "studied" or "ran errands" or "hung with roommates" or "did stuff around the apartment"...actually you are probably going to go with the doing stuff around the apartment option since it's almost kind of sorta honest since you were doing stuff around your apartment also reffered to as sleeping.
2. Be truthful. Admit you just woke up....but you'll probably also add some lame excuse justifying why you slept in.
3. Be vague. "Oh nothing much" is always a good out. Infact, being vague is a great out for quite an array of situations. Q: "Are you busy this weekend?" A: "Not sure yet. I have some things possibly planned but I need to check with some people sometime soonish." Q: "How'd you do on the last exam?" A: "Oh, not horrible...but not fantastic either. It could have been worse, I think it was okay though." Q: "How serious is your relationship? Do you think you'll be engaged soon?" A: "Oh, he's cool, I'm cool. We like eachhother. How do you judge seriousness anyway? (Notice the answering a question with a question technique) Now you're on your way to being one very successful politician. Congratulations.

Luckily, after your rough and rocky start, the day typically gets better and virtually normal....until night hits. All too quickly you realize it's your bedtime and you're wide awake. So what do you do? You blog about the beatifual idea of sleeping in until you become sleepy yourself....but then realize how stupid of a choice that truly was when you see your roommate's Microbiology book lying right next to you....the same book that knocked you out faster than a double does of Niquil freshman year when you took the same class. Such is life :)

A New Kind of "Happy Meal"?

2008-09-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

(This happened a couple summers ago)

Back when I was a tiny tike, McDonalds reigned fast food supreme in my mind. From the seat of my carseat, those golden arches were easily recognized no matter what city my family was breezin through. Plus, Mcky Dees was the only place a kid could get a cute lil meal in a brightly colored, mesmerizing box which was traded out for a specially designed plastic trick-or-treat tub somewhere around mid-October for Halloween. With those playground jungle gymn things and collectible mini-Barbies as the surprise toy....really could life get any better?

Alas, somehow between the release of Super Size Me and just plain growing up McDonalds found a different place in my heart. This note is in no way an attempt to bash McDonalds mind you. I will still eat there, my family will still eat there, and when the mood strikes...heck..you should eat there too every now and then :).

Anyway, it all happened one late night a couple weeks ago while my family was making our way through Nebraska. There wasn't too much around and we were famished. After making a stop through a McDonalds' drive thru and heading to our hotel, we started happily eating our value meals.

Shreek! My younger sister suddenly squeals. A lot of pure disgust flashed across her face as she through her friend fries forcefully on the nightstand. After some quick investigation, the source of her disgust was made blatantly apparent. A big, dead, yucky lookin bug (well, actually it was kind of cute in a wierd sort of way) was smack dab in the middle of all of that golden, crispy french fry goodness. seriously, i don't make this stuff up. I'm not suing McDonalds, my family isn't suing McDonalds, you shouldn't sue McDonalds...heck...come to think of it...we didn't even get a free meal outta all this. hmmm.....

Now, it is very well possible that this is not McDonalds’ fault at all. It is very well possible (though in my opinion---highly unlikely) that a bug from our car, outside, or some other place could have found its way into our take out bags upon leaving McDonalds. Who knows…besides…that bug was probably the most healthy, most organic, most nutritious morsel we got from that McDonald’s order. Anyhow, the moral of the story? Ummm….eat Burger King? 

Sabbath Blog: "The Little Things"

2008-09-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

Since it was fast Sunday for my ward today, I think I'll start out with a scrumpdiddlyumcious childhood story about food just to make your fast a wee bit harder to test how righteous you truly are. Just kidding, that would be mean. But seriously....don't read if you are starving.

I'm a dork. I gave up trying to be cool a long time ago. To demonstrate the validity of this point take note of the following: I used to watch Martha Stewart in the morning during summer instead of the normal kid stuff like...well...I don't even know....I wasn't normal. sigh. Anyway, one day the domestic goddess made these cookies that rocked my cookie world as I once knew it. "Lime Meltaways" (Believe me: I do not make this stuff up: http://www.marthastewart.com/ recipe/lime-meltaways-from-the-martha-stewart-show?autonomy_kw=lime%20meltaways&rsc=header_1) was what she called this confectionery goodness, and I was dying to bake some myself.

My mom wrote down the recipe for me, and a few weeks later I got to work. I carefully followed each direction excited to (in all honesty) get the darn things baked and out of the oven so that I could eat them all. Sadly, upon my first little nibble of the much anticipated Lime Meltaway I was sorely disappointed. But, I had my pride to protect. Smiling innocently, I dashed over to my dad an gave him several of my prized cookies. Being the good man that he is, he downed every single one without a single word of cooking criticism or complaint.

An hour or so later, he was violently ill. What a trooper. That's a dad that loves his daughter. Turns out on the recipe my mom had written for me salt was listed as "1/4 salt." Having little cooking experience at the time, I had guessed that "1/4" salt must mean "1/4 cup of salt." Now I know that the only time you put that much salt into anything it's because you're making homemade play dough or an ex foliating hand scrub---both of which are never internally ingested..hopefully...sometimes play dough crosses that line...grubby, little kids are disgusting like that). It wasn't until later that I realized that Lime Meltaways are supposed to be made with only 1/4 of a TEASEPOON of salt. Minor difference. Poor Dad :(

What's the point? Here goes....

I think it's the little things in the gospel that are often the most important. You barely add any salt to a recipe in baking (yeah, sorry to make the uber cheezily obvious connection) but if left out or exaggerated the consequences are extremely different. The commandments to read our scriptures, say our prayers, go to church, love our families, attend the temple regularly, serve our fellow men, pay our tithing, etc. often seem mundane and not the crucial aspects in our lives that they truly are.

As we know, it works quite the contrary. Matthew 5:48 reads: "Be ye perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Even though this is impossible for us to do by ourselves, luckily we have our loving savior Jesus Christ who takes care of our shortcomings when even our best just isn't enough. We just have to take the time and faith to rely on Him. However, this leaves little wiggle room, if any, to slack off on our part. And just think of the blessings we forfeit when we choose to live up to less than our potential: "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated."

More food for thought:
*I had a seminary teacher that often stressed our greatest sins are often not the ones of commission but those of omission.
*Going back to the salt theme: "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. " (Matthew 5:14-16)
*Hmm...I had much more but this blog is sort of going downhill so I think I'll end here. haha

Anyway, the church is true! Enjoy your day :)

The Many Stages of Boredom

2008-09-13T23:16:00.001-07:00

Five minutes ago I was reminded of a gray area some of us cross into more often than others. I like to term it "the many stages of boredom. " This fact of life was brought to mind when one of my roommates took the time to formally reprimand me for not recently bloggging---seeing as my blog is apparently a sad form of her daily entertainment that she sets her heart on to take up a measly five minutes of the 24 hour day. In all honesty, I was actually quite flattered. So, three cheers. Here's to you roommie. You know who you are :)

The Key Stages in the Infinite Stages of Boredom(*Please keep in mind that these are only the highlights):

1. You got some spare time so you decided to do something productive...not necessarily necessary...but productive none-the-less
examples: read, clean, study, go to the bathroom

AND THEN IT GETS WORSE

2. After about 2 whole whopping minutes of being productive you remember that since you remember how lazy you truly are and that the reason you are bored is because all the daily activities you are actually required to do are accomplished. You now slip into bored active mode to bored passive mode.
examples: TV, you tube videos, movies

THE DOWNHILL SLIDE CONTINUES

3. You've been sitting in the same comfy position for so long that you know are experiencing pain. Sadly this is not the good sort pain that kills but instills a sense of accomplishment that results from any other endurance type of sport (yes, sitting in one position for a very long time is a form of endurance and should be considered a sport...though I have a feeling it would consist mainly of chubby people...well, maybe not even chubby....but they'd all have one thing in common: rolls....possibly broken up be the occasional stretch mark) ANYWAY, due to the uncomfortableness that has been building, though you haven't noticed it until your favorite episode of The Office ended on nbc.com, you decide you need to proceed to stage 4 of boredom. This will allow you to have some movement without removing your heiny from its imprinted spot on the couch.
examples: facebooking (well, actually you've done this intermittently for short periods of time all throughout this boredom process....but now your on to more serious stuff....like looking at pictures of friends of friends and stalking that person that sits next to you in chem class), msn instant messaging, texting chacha for no important reason

OH WAIT, THERE'S MORE

4. This is when you take a nap ranging anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours (depending on how much more time you have to kill).
examples: N/A

THE END IS NEAR

5. Now that you've done something your body has been craving since the time you woke up this morning, you realize that you have been neglecting other needs. Well, technically you probably haven't even been neglecting the part of life I'm about to mention but you will find yourself migrating to the kitchen anyway. You start munching. Lots of time passes.
examples: donuts, chips and salsa, chocolate, cereal, Pop-Tarts, the list goes on...

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T BE MORE PATHETIC 'TIL NOW

6. Several hours have passed by this time. Suddenly it hits you....and hits you hard. While those normal contributing members of society (friends, family, roommates, the mailman) have been working, or studying, or volunteering....all you have to show is a few good one-liners from old TV episodes, a big gut, and the infinite relationship status info of all your cyber pals. You stink. In fact, it is so depressing that you start pointing the blame on other for your current state of being.
Examples: wondering why no one has called to invite you to that mega awesome party all your pals are at (you say they're snotty but they know you're boring), you blame others for not creating new blogs for you to read in your spare time, need i say more?

Well, I hope you enjoyed this roommie. Love ya!

Butt Dust

2008-09-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look on the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his mom goodnight. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what will happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The sermon I think this Mom will never forget...this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord." the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we ar but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Group Dates are BAD

2008-09-10T22:13:00.000-07:00

The top 8 reasons why you shouldn't go on a group date if your LDS and older than 18:

A lot of times you have dated another person in the group
A lot of times everyone in the group know eachother except for you
Sometimes another couple is engaged and that makes it awkward for you and everyone else
When you have a large group of people it’s hard to do something amazing because you have to factor in everyone’s interest or they are just super stereotypical
You focus much less attention on the person you are on the date with
Not only do you have to impress the person you are on the date with, but EVERY single other person in the group especially if they are good friends with eachother
Driving with multiple couples in the car is often awkward
You are more often exposed to nauseating needless PDA from other couples